Joe The Plumber Can Suck My Dick. (And NOT in the gay way.)

If we needed any more of a reminder that we are entering "The Greatest Depression", look no further then Joe The Plumber.
I hate writing that name. I hate looking at it. I refuse to say it; yes, it's an election year, but I won't speak in simple symbolism because saying "Middle Class" takes to long.
It doesn't. Try it.
Joe the Plumber is an Ohio nobody who had enough free time in his afternoon to wander into a mellow Obama "media-march-through-blue-

collar neighborhood."
He asked (excuse me: Whined) about the prospects of starting a business in today's economy. He'd be taxed. He won't get to keep all his money. He was fed up.
Ok.
Any fucker-of-mothers who think he's going to whip up 250,000 bucks to flush into a plumbing enterprise is a dumbfuck.
Not even Super Mario could unclog that much cash.
NO UPSTART PLUMBER makes 250,000 in his first year.
In THIS economy?
FUCK YOU.
Joe doesn't want to start a "small business".
Joe wants to start a "Joe Business."
His prospectives don't include hiring a rag-tag-team of capable plumbers--Joe believes his plumbing IS the team, HIS plumbing can move mountains, HIS plumbing will get HIM money for HIS house and HIS kids and HIS beer and HIS backyard and HIS life, HIS life, HIS life.
He wants a single enterprise; a one-man-septic-can-changing-band of bullshit.
Now? Now everybody's all crazy.
Remember that Kevin Costner movie--"Swing Vote?"
It's a real P.O.S,* but if you must, find it on Surf The Channel.
He plays a man who's vote will determine the election.
A sloppy, drunk, angry man.
Kelsey Grammer and Dennis Hopper play candidates fighting over his vote--they paint him as an example of the "Everyman", The "Common Man", The "Plumber", The "Teacher", The "Racist", The casual watcher of "Dancing with the Stars."
He becomes everything to the campaign.
Now.
Joe The Plumber is no Kevin Costner.
At least Kevin Costner, with all the shit he's dropped, could probably get a decent plumbing license.
"Joe The Plumber" doesn't have a plumbing license.
...Let me write that again.
"Joe The Plumber" doesn't have a plumbing license.
I HATE writing it I hate thinking it I hate him.
He's a VISIBLE redneck republican.
He has a SHAVED HEAD (And not in the sexy way.)
He throws around words like "socialism" and "Stealing" like they're actually going to happen.
He asks a hypothetical question and now has to carry the weight of the election on his broad bronzed shoulders.
Joe The Plumber is no Joe Worker.
He's no Joe Six Pack.
Hell, he's not even Joe Millionare.

*P.O.S=Piece of Shit.