PREV. on "LOST"
So the Oceanic Six got caught in a space/time riff and now they're in the thick of Dharma circa '77 (except for the redheadednosebleeder; she got died from the sickness of the space/time slip) anyway DharmaBabies are everywhere (Ethan, Ben, Redheadednosebleeder), and the Oceanic 6 and the Island 6 are banning together in all kinds of weather to make the whole world better (and Kate's in some Mama and the Papa's sweater) and Sayid's going full speed to hell unless Lafluer can tell it like it is and call it like he sees it (did they even do that in the 70s?) fuck this rhyming shit I'm LOST.
TELL IT LIKE IT IS:
Ok, where my man @?
It's been WEEKS since we saw Faragay's hotness.
I miss the mumblecore.
Whatever, as long as he isn't shacking up to the redheadednosebleeder in some dirty, dirty Lolita-like fashion, I'm all for his exile.
He needs to go all Simba and come back and shake some shit up.
Or maybe he's with Rose and Berand in the "we'll deal with you later" pile on the LOST writers desk.
Anyway.
Back to the characters who are actually ON THE SHOW.
....Totally Sayid's episode. And thank God for that.
This felt like a flashback to the season one days; the only times were went into flashback-mode was to get information that would help us see what was going on in a new fashion.
This wasn't just a Sayid episode; this was a Sayid/Ben episode.
All of Sayid's off island pain, torment, and drama came from Benjamin Linus's Santa Claus hate-list.
Or maybe not.
Maybe, Ben was helping Sayid. A killer is a killer is a killer right?
Maybe Ben was just pushing Sayid to go all Dexter instead of simply going all Iraq War.
Who knows.
Speaking of Ben, little Ben is totally jeepers creepers.
With his Harry Potter glasses and "papa don't preach" attitude.
Shit.
Little Ben spent the episode with Sayid (in a VERY "Harry Potter and the Prisnor of Azkaban" sort of way-come on, think about it) and,
in my (totally right) opinion,
set that bus on fire to cause a commotion so he could free Sayid.
Meanwhile, the 70's have totally made the "Losties" act like it's Grey's Anatomy or something.
Juliet + Kate changing a car and talking about boys was the most ABC this show has gotten all season, and I hope it stops there.
(Hurley as the roly-poly-rolly-jolly cook was also circling the toilet of too-much, but I'll take it.)
Thankfully, the flaming-bus will set the show on a different direction.
We've only got a few episodes left, homies, and in that time a LOT of ground has to be covered, all leading up to the "incident."
Now, here's where I get confused.
CALL IT LIKE YOU SEE IT:
Is "the incident" when Ben slaughters all of the D.I?
Or is it something else entirely?
Hmmm.
Oh, and about that time-travel stuff.
Yes, this awesome episode ended with Sayid reverting back to his killing instincts: he shot Ben, point blank, in the heart.
Now, my homie Anders thinks this means Ben is "off the show", which I think is bullshit. (Besides the fact that MIchael Emerson is contracted for the rest of this year. Anyway.)
I think Ben's going to survive.
Know why?
This season is all about DESTINY.
Ben was DESTINED to get all these people back to the island.
He CAN'T die.
Remember that scene with Michael, off island, last season?
He tries to shoot himself in the head.
He can't.
Why?
The island won't let him.
So Ben's going to survive. He's going to think he's the second coming because he survived.
...This helps me.
There is only one timeline.
You can't change the past--for instance, if the Losties try to stop "the incident" at the end of the season, they will fail.
"The incident" will happen, regardless of their intervention.
Destiny Calls, motherfuckers.
....But what about Faraday? He sets the rules but he's trying to break them with the redheadednosebleeder; is he crazy? And where's Rose and Bernard? Are they with the other-other-other-other-Hostiles, and is there cake? Didn't you love the seduction turned Boba-Fett scene, and wasn't Jin such a BITCH, and I hope Juliet beats the shit out of Kate again, (and is that bad) oh who cares fuck this noise I'm LOST.
So the Oceanic Six got caught in a space/time riff and now they're in the thick of Dharma circa '77 (except for the redheadednosebleeder; she got died from the sickness of the space/time slip) anyway DharmaBabies are everywhere (Ethan, Ben, Redheadednosebleeder), and the Oceanic 6 and the Island 6 are banning together in all kinds of weather to make the whole world better (and Kate's in some Mama and the Papa's sweater) and Sayid's going full speed to hell unless Lafluer can tell it like it is and call it like he sees it (did they even do that in the 70s?) fuck this rhyming shit I'm LOST.
TELL IT LIKE IT IS:
Ok, where my man @?
It's been WEEKS since we saw Faragay's hotness.
I miss the mumblecore.
Whatever, as long as he isn't shacking up to the redheadednosebleeder in some dirty, dirty Lolita-like fashion, I'm all for his exile.
He needs to go all Simba and come back and shake some shit up.
Or maybe he's with Rose and Berand in the "we'll deal with you later" pile on the LOST writers desk.
Anyway.
Back to the characters who are actually ON THE SHOW.
....Totally Sayid's episode. And thank God for that.
This felt like a flashback to the season one days; the only times were went into flashback-mode was to get information that would help us see what was going on in a new fashion.
This wasn't just a Sayid episode; this was a Sayid/Ben episode.
All of Sayid's off island pain, torment, and drama came from Benjamin Linus's Santa Claus hate-list.
Or maybe not.
Maybe, Ben was helping Sayid. A killer is a killer is a killer right?
Maybe Ben was just pushing Sayid to go all Dexter instead of simply going all Iraq War.
Who knows.
Speaking of Ben, little Ben is totally jeepers creepers.
With his Harry Potter glasses and "papa don't preach" attitude.
Shit.
Little Ben spent the episode with Sayid (in a VERY "Harry Potter and the Prisnor of Azkaban" sort of way-come on, think about it) and,
in my (totally right) opinion,
set that bus on fire to cause a commotion so he could free Sayid.
Meanwhile, the 70's have totally made the "Losties" act like it's Grey's Anatomy or something.
Juliet + Kate changing a car and talking about boys was the most ABC this show has gotten all season, and I hope it stops there.
(Hurley as the roly-poly-rolly-jolly cook was also circling the toilet of too-much, but I'll take it.)
Thankfully, the flaming-bus will set the show on a different direction.
We've only got a few episodes left, homies, and in that time a LOT of ground has to be covered, all leading up to the "incident."
Now, here's where I get confused.
CALL IT LIKE YOU SEE IT:
Is "the incident" when Ben slaughters all of the D.I?
Or is it something else entirely?
Hmmm.
Oh, and about that time-travel stuff.
Yes, this awesome episode ended with Sayid reverting back to his killing instincts: he shot Ben, point blank, in the heart.
Now, my homie Anders thinks this means Ben is "off the show", which I think is bullshit. (Besides the fact that MIchael Emerson is contracted for the rest of this year. Anyway.)
I think Ben's going to survive.
Know why?
This season is all about DESTINY.
Ben was DESTINED to get all these people back to the island.
He CAN'T die.
Remember that scene with Michael, off island, last season?
He tries to shoot himself in the head.
He can't.
Why?
The island won't let him.
So Ben's going to survive. He's going to think he's the second coming because he survived.
...This helps me.
There is only one timeline.
You can't change the past--for instance, if the Losties try to stop "the incident" at the end of the season, they will fail.
"The incident" will happen, regardless of their intervention.
Destiny Calls, motherfuckers.
....But what about Faraday? He sets the rules but he's trying to break them with the redheadednosebleeder; is he crazy? And where's Rose and Bernard? Are they with the other-other-other-other-Ho
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