Get "LOST"-Season 5, Ep.2

O.
M.
G.

PREVIOSUILY:
So flight 815 crash landed on this time-confounding island where there's monsters and emmys and Michele Rogregeiz (she died, then came back, then died, then lost a lot of weight, whatever) anyway 6 people got off this crazy clusterfuck only to find out that in order to save the other people on the island:
they have. to go. BACK.

"JUGHEAD"
After last weeks season opener concentrated on the intrigue behind getting BACK to the island (Claire's baby, Sun's plotting, Hurley's hot-pocket-throwing-ninja-

moves)--this week treated us to an epic, time bending piece of classic "Lost."
"Jughead" featured my personal favorite character (Daniel Faraday, more on him later) leading the "Freighties" through a Brittish occupied camp of others:
Lead. By. Richard.
Now, Richard never ages, but aren't you always shocked every-time he's revealed?
Like in Ben's flashback--or Locke's?
I want to see a show about Richard popping up during the JFK assasaniation, the moon landing, and the Obama Inagruation, being all like "Deal, bitch."
I bet he's got a rotten portrait hanging in a closet somewhere.
Moving on.
The Others are mystified about an H-Bomb (how the fuck did THAT get there?) and use Daniel to "dismantle" the seismic slice of ka-boom.
He's lead there by a sassy Brit with pigtails--a Brit named "Ellie."
....It took me a second, but, thanks to my knowledge of all things "Degrassi: The Next Generation" I realized that Ellie was short by Eloise--
What other Eloise do we know?
(Not, not Ellie from "Degrassi", the tanorexic go-for-broke stoner who dated Skinner before he joined the cult and almost married that one chica who went all Lolita and tried to kill herself in front of--nevermind,)
The OTHER one, Eloise Hawking--
the white-witch-harry-potter-bitch who appeared in "Flashes Before Your Eyes" in season 3, and, most recently, in last week's opener!
It makes sense--Eloise looks about 70, and "Ellie" from last night could pass for a late teen-early twenty something.
Now, there's talk about Daniel's Mother being the white-haired-harry-potter-witchbitch--
which would explain how cool and calm Daniel was when Ellie had him at gunpoint.
Remember the rules of time travel: She can't KILL him because HE hasn't been BORN yet.
....Whoa.
Also, Whidmore is an other!
Makes sense. Now, he wants to get BACK to the island.
AND, it makes sense that he gave Desmond Ellie's number--those homies go way back to '54, yo!
It's all. Making. Sense.
....Sort of.

DANIEL FARADAY
Some people are all up on Desmond like he's Brad Pitt-
but Faraday's hotter then a poptart, fresh out of the toaster.
First of all, his thin-black-tie-ruffled-collar is so iconic that I want the action figure, like, now.
Second of all, his obsession with science over love is much more fascinating then Desmond's time-traveling-hard-on for that blonde shitza whose name stands for an ever deflating form of currency.
(Penny and pennies are over. Check the stock market "Brotha"! Shit.)
Also, kudos for Jeremy Davies rising forth from a dying film career to craft a fidgety, nuerotic preformance that's layered, funny, and dark.
Sure, he "cares" about that red-headed-nose-bleeding-bombshell, but everytime he's looking at her I feel that he's looking through her--thinking about string theory, or Darwainism, or contemplating a tricky Dave Matthews Band lyric.
("Crash--into me?")
Anyway, he's the shit, and with Jack being all beardy and L.A, he's the closest we have to a leading man.
....Sawyer doesn't count. He's too naked.

ANNOYING SHIT
Star trek had the "Red shirts"; Lost has the "Lookouts".
Anyone who's acting too much like they're "looking out" for the audience:
Like Aranz in Season One, or last week's complaining, un-named know-it-all--
gets toasted in the worst way possible.
Aranz got blown up, and last week's asshole (who was acutally WEARING a red shirt) was the first to get hit by the biggest wall of flaming arrows since last years Gay Pride Festival in Utah.
How many fucking people are on this island anyway?
They can't kill off any more, really--48 people survived the crash, last week we saw at least 5 on camera deaths, this week two, COUNTLESS more in seasons two, three and four......not to mention 10 or so people abducted when the others attacked in season one.
Whatever.
This week? The two that got toasted by the '54 crew were gone in seconds.
Seconds.
Those poor, poor day players.

COOL SHIT
Juliet.
"Why don't we all just put down our guns?"
Best. Cockblock. Ever.
Also, I-see-dead-people hottie.
I love how the fact that he can speak to the deceased is as common as not having toilet paper on the island.
Nobody cares!
I also love how we didn't see any of the oceanic 6--BUT we learned that Desmond and Penny and Charlie Jr (he named his son after his dead homie! love it!) are going to meet up up with Jack and co in LA.....

NEXT:
I think Penny's gonna die.
Or, Desmond goes back to the island.
Or both.
I think Jin will pop up SOON (I always see his name in the credits, and he's never there. They did the same thing with Michael last season--so, when he finally came back, it was almost like "Dude, you were supposed to be here weeks ago!")