PREV. on "LOST"
So the survivors of 815 are all meeting in L.A 'cause this white-haired-Harry-Potter-witchbitch is all like "You have 70 hours to get back to the island" and they HAVE to go back because all their homies have been slipping in and out of time for like three years and seeing dead people and french people and hot people (like the ageless Other with the guy-liner; hubba) but time is running out and drama's building up and where the hell is WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAALT I'm LOST.
"THE LITTLE PRINCE"
So.
Kate episode.
....Usually they suck, royally. No offense to Evangilene Lilly's acting, but that character is like the black
jolly-rancher jellybean in a pile of greens reds and blues.
That being said: What.An.Episode.
"THE OCEANIC SIX"
From the opening moments with Kate and Jack's pre-island-"rescue", you knew something big was finna drop.
"Me Too"Kate cooked up the idea of pretending she was pregnant (which is a huge jump in logic but I'm willing to leap) and then made Jack announce it to the group as if it was some impromtou idea of his own.
Meanwhile, Vengance-Mission Sun has Kate EXACTLY where she wants her--
or does she?
V.M.Sun, I assumed, was working with Widmore to capture Kate for some mission of vengance;
but, it turns out that Sun has no need for Kate--
all Sun needs is a chocolate-box-covered-colt.45 and a google map of wherever Ben's @.
With baby Aaron in the backseat (who, by the by, eats better then I do)--V.MSun blazed into the starlight to shoot Ben,
JUST as Jack and long-lost-frienemy Kate rendevouded with Sayid and co.
This was the best of the off-island subplots since they began. We had our character in survival mode (Or, in Sun's case, VENGANCE MODE!)--battling the powers that be in a way that recalled the glory days of Season One.
"Go there, get her, hide from him, run here, pause for meaningful character moments"--it was LOST at it's most basic, but, with the new setting, all the old trappings appeared fresh, new, and--
should I go there?
--Sexy.
Next week: Either V.M.Sun puts one right between Ben's eyes or everybody breaks out into a musical number about how "times have changed, haven't they?"
My money's on Sayid for the dance break.
"ON THE ISLAND"
Thank comic-book genius Brian K Vaughn for the serial-like-sickness of time-slips and gun-shots ripping though the survivors "Back to the Future" picnic.
Vaughn (Of Y:The Last Man fame) is incredible at pushing plot, character, and theme forward with action scenes and mounting suspence; everyone had a clear purpose, objective, and hidden secret.
It seems that the red-headed-nose-bleeder (TM!) is only the first to become afflicted with the time-jump sickness.
Next? Myles.
Then? Juliet.
Hmm....
Who's been on the island the longest?
My money goes on the characters in that order, ending with Sawyer and Locke, who have only been on the island for, what, 100 and so days?
The red-headed-nose-bleeder and Myles have logged mega time-sheet papers for Dharma--
Or--
And maybe I'm just crazy--
I think they both could have been born on the island.
Myles could totally be the baby in the first scene of the season--the son of the "Namatase" guy.
Juliet, as we saw, has been on the island for several years, but not as long as the red-headed-nose-bleeder,
whose time-line is still in the fuzzy.
Speaking of the fuzzy--what was with the time jump and the canoe?
Now.
MAYBE I'M CRAZY--
But I think that's the Oceanic 6! I think they got to the island on some kind of Indian airline (notice the tickets and etc littered around the beach) and shot at whoever STOLE THEIR FUCKING CANOE--not realizing, of course, they were shooting at the same people they were trying to SAVE.
Drama.
Dharma.
Drama.
Dhrama-Drama.
"NEXT"
Shit's gonna start linking up quick.
Jin's back in the game.
Color me shocked.
I hope he realizes that the time-travel rules are more "Harry Potter" then "Heroes"--you can't change the past, so it's no use trying to tell crazy french women that everyone on their team will die,
because,
they're all going to die anyway, no matter WHAT you do.
Whatever, Jin speaks about as much English as a drunk Lindsay Lohan.
Will V.M Sun withdraw her mission when she hears her husband is still alive?
Methinks so.
Will Locke die soon?
Methinks so.
Will Daniel Faraday ditch the red-headed-nose-bleeder and hold me in his arms as we embrace this ever-changing-land-of-the-lost?!?!?!?!?!?!?
.....By the end of the season, AT-LEAST.
ikeout.
So the survivors of 815 are all meeting in L.A 'cause this white-haired-Harry-Potter-
"THE LITTLE PRINCE"
So.
Kate episode.
....Usually they suck, royally. No offense to Evangilene Lilly's acting, but that character is like the black
jolly-rancher jellybean in a pile of greens reds and blues.
That being said: What.An.Episode.
"THE OCEANIC SIX"
From the opening moments with Kate and Jack's pre-island-"rescue", you knew something big was finna drop.
"Me Too"Kate cooked up the idea of pretending she was pregnant (which is a huge jump in logic but I'm willing to leap) and then made Jack announce it to the group as if it was some impromtou idea of his own.
Meanwhile, Vengance-Mission Sun has Kate EXACTLY where she wants her--
or does she?
V.M.Sun, I assumed, was working with Widmore to capture Kate for some mission of vengance;
but, it turns out that Sun has no need for Kate--
all Sun needs is a chocolate-box-covered-colt
With baby Aaron in the backseat (who, by the by, eats better then I do)--V.MSun blazed into the starlight to shoot Ben,
JUST as Jack and long-lost-frienemy Kate rendevouded with Sayid and co.
This was the best of the off-island subplots since they began. We had our character in survival mode (Or, in Sun's case, VENGANCE MODE!)--battling the powers that be in a way that recalled the glory days of Season One.
"Go there, get her, hide from him, run here, pause for meaningful character moments"--it was LOST at it's most basic, but, with the new setting, all the old trappings appeared fresh, new, and--
should I go there?
--Sexy.
Next week: Either V.M.Sun puts one right between Ben's eyes or everybody breaks out into a musical number about how "times have changed, haven't they?"
My money's on Sayid for the dance break.
"ON THE ISLAND"
Thank comic-book genius Brian K Vaughn for the serial-like-sickness of time-slips and gun-shots ripping though the survivors "Back to the Future" picnic.
Vaughn (Of Y:The Last Man fame) is incredible at pushing plot, character, and theme forward with action scenes and mounting suspence; everyone had a clear purpose, objective, and hidden secret.
It seems that the red-headed-nose-bleeder (TM!) is only the first to become afflicted with the time-jump sickness.
Next? Myles.
Then? Juliet.
Hmm....
Who's been on the island the longest?
My money goes on the characters in that order, ending with Sawyer and Locke, who have only been on the island for, what, 100 and so days?
The red-headed-nose-bleeder and Myles have logged mega time-sheet papers for Dharma--
Or--
And maybe I'm just crazy--
I think they both could have been born on the island.
Myles could totally be the baby in the first scene of the season--the son of the "Namatase" guy.
Juliet, as we saw, has been on the island for several years, but not as long as the red-headed-nose-bleeder,
whose time-line is still in the fuzzy.
Speaking of the fuzzy--what was with the time jump and the canoe?
Now.
MAYBE I'M CRAZY--
But I think that's the Oceanic 6! I think they got to the island on some kind of Indian airline (notice the tickets and etc littered around the beach) and shot at whoever STOLE THEIR FUCKING CANOE--not realizing, of course, they were shooting at the same people they were trying to SAVE.
Drama.
Dharma.
Drama.
Dhrama-Drama.
"NEXT"
Shit's gonna start linking up quick.
Jin's back in the game.
Color me shocked.
I hope he realizes that the time-travel rules are more "Harry Potter" then "Heroes"--you can't change the past, so it's no use trying to tell crazy french women that everyone on their team will die,
because,
they're all going to die anyway, no matter WHAT you do.
Whatever, Jin speaks about as much English as a drunk Lindsay Lohan.
Will V.M Sun withdraw her mission when she hears her husband is still alive?
Methinks so.
Will Locke die soon?
Methinks so.
Will Daniel Faraday ditch the red-headed-nose-bleeder and hold me in his arms as we embrace this ever-changing-land-of-the-
.....By the end of the season, AT-LEAST.
ikeout.
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