"Get" Glee: Ep.10-"Ballad"

Reviewed by Ike Holter
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Has anybody ever sung to a sonogram? Historically. Like ever. Like ever in the history of ever. Does it happen?
Well, call the Guinness Book of World Records because last night at 8pm some football jock laid on his bed in Ohio and sang a Pretenders song to the sonogram of his unborn child.
And I was fine with it.
More then fine. I think I might have been moved. Or nauseous. Maybe both, and that's not a bad thing.
Screw the Winter Olympics. The best tightrope walking on TV happens on "Glee". Every week they give the audience a jaw dropping obstacle.
Can a kid in a wheelchair sing "Proud Mary" and make it work? Can we have a mentally handicapped cheerleader be credible? Can a grown man impersonating a 17 year old honestly sing "I'll Stand By You" to a picture of a baby that's not even his?
Gold.
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"Ballad", written by series co-creator Brad Falchuk, centers around the notion of song as story.
1. Stalker-Students
Shuester told the Glee kids to partner up and preform a ballad.
He also made the mistake of giving a white girl some Diana Ross song. (Nothing good can ever come of that. EVER.) Rachel become a star-drunk-stalker-4-Shuester, going so far as to clean his house and cook him dinner. With the help of a former tormented teen (Sarah Drew in totally nutso pajamas's mode), Rachel realizes she can't continue her feelings for her teacher and decides to cut the cord.
Thank God, because I dread the thought of a sweeps-week-special where Rachel decides to do a scene from David Mamet's "Oleana."
2. Baby-Mama-Faja-Drama
Selfish-ice-queen-ex-cheerleader-total-bitchface Quinn finally introduces the "Father" of her child to her parents. To psyche himself up for this, Finn decides to use his "most powerful instrument": His voice.
(I'd say actor Cory Moneith's most powerful instrument would have to be his charisma, but hey, this is a fantasy series, right?)
He tells Quinn's parents (through a Paul Anka song, of course) that he'sthe Father of Quinn's surprise pregnancy.
Gasp!
Shock!
Awe-hell-no!
Quinn get's tossed out of her house quicker then a toaster-strudel-slut. At the end of the episode, she moves into Finn's home and hopefully stops being sung an angsty little migraine.
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Now back to the singing sonogram.
"Ballad" succeeds because it follows the strict rules of an actual story-song. It tells a small story. It commits to it's utter cheesiness. It rocks by it's own rules.
The sonogram-scene can't be played for comedy. Or pathos. Or depth, or intelligence--it is what it is.
Cory Moneith's voice is terrible, but his conviction to the moment is monumental. He believes everything he's singing, he's committed to this insane world, and he doesn't wink at the camera.
Anyone who's seen "Gypsy" probably flashed back to Gypsy Rose Lee singing "Little Lamb" to her cardboard-cut-out animal.
Critics have called this the worst song in the show, but I'm always fascinated watching the actor who has to commit to this scene. It's a "book" moment. We're forced to watch a character at their most vulnerable because the story wants us to take note: this person bruises easily. Look closer.
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MIDTERMS:
STORY:
A
GAYNESS:
B-
SONGS:
B+
DRAMA-RAMA:
B+
G.P.A:
3.33=B+